I am not gonna talk about losing people to death or sickness. I’m gonna talk about losing people when relationships — romantic, familial or friendships — end; when trust is broken and when loyalty is compromised. 

I used to get upset whenever people do me wrong. I used to indulge in my disappointments whenever I lose friends who hurt me or betray me. I used to ask myself over and over again if there was anything wrong I did or if I should’ve done something to prevent situations and issues that eventually cut my connections with folks I valued in my life. But the sad truth is that I always failed to come up with good answers or explanations that would’ve helped me understand why people are selfish. In the end, the failure to justify or comprehend would make me feel even more frustrated. Then one day, I’ve come to that realization that sometimes, acceptance is better than justification. Why should I overthink and make myself suffer anyway, right?

Some Realizations

I realized that when people only think about themselves, their needs, their wants;

when people make you feel like it’s your obligation to feed into dramas they created on their own;

when all they can think about are themselves and they make you feel as if you have no right to think about your own shit;

when they make you feel like it’s your responsibility to get rid of or solve their predicaments;

when they need you to care for them even if it means caring less for yourself;

when they’re NOT at all happy for you and your happiness;

when they drown in bitterness and jealousy and envy and hate because they see you living a good life that they even have the guts to comment sarcastically about it;

when all they can do is take and not freakin’ give because for them, that’s how relationships should be like;

when people get upset at you and judge you because they believe — in their selfish minds — that you neglect them when in the first place, they’re the ones who are just around whenever they need something from you.

Here’s what I think you should do. Let go and move on.

These people are NOT your people. They are not the tribe you should associate with, love, care for or sacrifice your happiness for. These are not the kinds of relationships you should cross oceans for. These are selfish crabs that pull you back when you’re trying so hard to fight your way out of this difficult, challenging basket you call your life. Don’t let them keep you from living your dreams and don’t ever give them the power to spoil your happiness.

I guess losing people isn’t so bad after all if it’s those bad people you’ll lose in the first place.